Should You Build Self Confidence and Happiness? Part One

Self-confidence is an important aspect of our everyday life. It gives us the ability and courage to face complex situations and basically do well in most things we embark upon. The beauty of being confident is that generally happiness, wellness and success are usually not far behind.

“Happiness and self confidence come naturally when you feel you’re moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be”. ~ Brain Tracy.

Now on the flip side reduced or lack of confidence will most definitely mean or lead to low self -esteem , fear of failure, negative expectations, self doubt, unhappiness, shyness and many other negative attributes. The aim of this post is to look at a few causes of lack of low self- confidence and provide you with practical tips towards how you can build your confidence and subsequently increases your happiness.

The most sensible thing to do when there is a problem is to address issues from its roots; This could be accomplished in various ways from meditation to self-discovery.

Some Causes of lack of Confidence
Lack of experience; is a very common reason and can be associated with lack of experience within certain areas of ones life where you continuously become hesitant to carry out a role(s).

Beliefs; AKA … Limiting beliefs are very powerful because it what you know and hold on to so dearly; its your reality hence difficult to break .Often people with low self confidence will hold limiting beliefs where they feel their life is controlled by events in the world e.g. the recession. Beliefs they have no control over how they feel, beliefs everything must be done in absolute perfection , beliefs failure reflect you as an individual and many more these are just examples.

Negative experience(s) in life; if you have been beaten not necessarily literally but have suffered from pains both emotionally and mentally the likeliness of low confidence is high. For instance, growing up in a household where you have been constantly told “you will never amount to anything in your life”, Being in a relationship where you have been told too often that you are good for nothing , you are ugly and many more are remarks that impact on one’s life adversely.

Recycling Unhappy experiences; Going over past issues is not so much of a problem provided it will help you address issues of the past and move on to the future. It is when it becomes a recycling process…….then that’s a problem.. I say “life is sweet and too short” so we don’t want to spend 30-40 years in therapy going over the same issue.

Separation issues, this could be as a result of divorce, bereavement or travelling can all be contributing factors to low self confidence.

Gender Issues; Research apparently shows that lack of confidence is a major barrier preventing women from applying for public appointments. As a female I will love to disagree with this...

At this stage you should hopefully be aware of what has led to lack of self confidence in your life. Being aware helps and reminds us that we are not finite (time is limited);we have the potential, the choice to act or not .So our next chapter is about preparing an action Plan to overcome lack of confidence.

“To overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence”~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Action Plan
Self Awareness : lack of self awareness from my own viewpoint can be disastrous.
Get Motivated: This simply means what it says get motivated. I recently published an article on motivation and one of the comments I received was in quote “Just do it”.
Prepare your Mind: If you are mentally lazy, this is the time to start preparing your mind .As part of what you will be doing is expanding your knowledge.
Health & Body: Start paying attention to your health and body if you have been neglecting it. For instance if you feel you are overweight and want to lose weight get motivated and start a plan. If you feel your skin is not the way you will like it to be, do something about it now!

Part two of this post will shed more light on why an action plan is needed and provide you with practical tips towards building self confidence and happiness; stay tuned.

Internal Happiness Makes For External Happiness Achieving Both..

When we are hurting on the inside it is hard to put on a happy smile on and achieve external happiness. After all when there is inner turmoil it can take a toll on a person as a whole. Not only can it ruin relationships, end careers and lead to health issues, but it is also a miserable way of life. Some believe that if they achieve external happiness, such as a new house, relationship or sports car then they can make themselves happy throughout. After achieving success, finding love and buying into monetary goods, they are still not happy. It is then that they begin to realize that external happiness cannot make a person happy; they must achieve internal happiness to truly be content.

At Peace With Your Self
One of the first steps of achieving internal happiness is becoming comfortable and at peace with who you are. Too many people go through their entire life beating themselves up over things that they cannot change. Because happiness is a feeling, a frame of mind, some might say, than it is important that you love yourself, regardless of your flaws. Accepting the facts, acknowledging your shortcomings and working toward goals will help you learn to accept the things that you can change, and stop worrying with what is out of your control. Some find peace in allowing their spiritual side to become stronger; and this represents ‘contentness’ with who you are. Coming to terms with your spiritual side can truly allow you to understand that you were made for a purpose in life, a much bigger purpose, just the way you are.

Never Compare Peter & Paul
Why is it that we compare ourselves to others? Not only is it the way that we look, but where we live, the kind of car we drive and how much money we make every month. We forget to compare the negative things about those individuals to our own life, just their success. No two people are alike and neither are their paths in life. Just because your high school buddy struck it rich, doesn’t mean that he is happy or that you should wish to be “happy” like him. You never know what is going on in someone else’s life, so do not compare yourself to anyone else. Who knows he may have a drinking problem or trouble in his relationship that is never disclosed, secretly he may be wishing he had the life, just like you!
In order to achieve external happiness you must first become happy on the inside. It is just like the skin, it cannot be healthy without the right nutrition, enough water and good health from the inside. Love yourself and accept who you are, and the sooner that you give yourself the chance to feel better about yourself, internal and external happiness will soon follow.